Saturday, April 19, 2008

#5

Have you ever swallowed a pill you didn't mean to take?  It's a horrible feeling.  One time I took a second dose of Vicodin right after the first one because I forgot that I swallowed the first batch.  I played images of me overdosing by accident in my head.  I tried to throw it up.  I ate and drank a lot after the vomiting idea did not work.  You want to undo something that can't be comfortably undone.  

Have you ever spoken words you didn't mean to say?  I'll bet there are many more agreements to that one.  There are similar scenarios.  Sometimes words will fall out of my mouth and into this world- accidents.  I want to breathe them back instead of throw them up.  I want to speak more to cover up my trail, just like I want to consume more to dilute the drug in my stomach and blood stream.  I replay the damage words can cause and what the repercussions are for me and the parties involved.

One instance involves taking something unwanted in, the other spews something unwanted out.  

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

Wow Claire........that is profound...you need to write a book Sweet one! Love you and soooo very grateful you are cancer free!! Your blog is a blessing to me.......

Love you!
Mrs. B